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I was a serial monogamist, moving from one long-term relationship to the next. I had friends who'd indulged in one-night stands and was probably guilty of judging them a little, of slut-shaming. I saw the negatives — that merry-go-round of hook-ups and guys never calling again. Then, in February , my partner dumped me. We'd only been together eight months but I was serious, deeply in love, and seven months of celibacy followed.

By summer, I needed something to take the pain away. Big loves don't come every day. Instead of "boyfriend hunting", searching for an exact copy of my ex, why not get out there, enjoy dating, have a good laugh — and, if I felt a connection, some good sex too? I could be married in five years and I'd never experimented before.

This was my chance to see what all the fuss was about. There's a hierarchy of seriousness on the dating sites. At the top is something like Guardian Soulmates or Match — the ones you pay for. You put in your pictures and add some information if you can be bothered. I started with one line "Single Canadian girl in London".

It's superficial, based purely on physical attraction, but that's what I was looking for. You go through what's there, if you see someone you like, you swipe right. If he swipes you too, it lights up like a game, then asks if you want to keep playing. My first Tinder date was with someone I'd seen before on OKCupid — the same faces crop up on all these sites. He knew all the cool restaurants, the best places and, as he was only in London occasionally, things moved faster than they should have.

After just a few dates, he booked us a night in a fancy Kensington hotel. I met him at a pub first — liquid courage — and knew the second I saw him that my heart wasn't in it. The connection wasn't there for me. Not a great start. But Tinder is addictive. You find yourself browsing and swiping and playing on. The possibilities pile up. I'm ashamed to say it but I sometimes went on three or four dates a week.

It could be to a bar around the corner, or somewhere fabulous — Berner's Tavern, the Chiltern Firehouse. Most of the guys I met were looking for sex, rarely were they after a relationship. With Tinder, I discovered what it could be to have sex then walk away without a backward glance. Sex didn't have to be wrapped up with commitment, and "will he? It could just be fun. Sometimes I had nothing in common with the guy but there was a sexual spark.

In "real life", he was the ultimate knob. He didn't fit with my politics, my views, I'd never have introduced him to my friends. In bed, though, he was passionate, eager, energetic. For a while, we'd hook up every six weeks. But there were a lot of negatives.

It could feel … seedy. Where do you go for sex? I didn't feel comfortable taking someone back to my place, as he'd then know where I lived, and I live alone. If we went back to his, I'd have no idea what to expect. With "Aldgate East", we had to walk through a pub to get to the bedroom and I swear there was a train going through the lounge. You're trusting people you barely know. After a few dates with "Manchester", I agreed to visit his hotel room next time he was in London.

I'd always been diligent about practising safe sex, but he had trouble getting in the mood with the condoms and went against my wishes at the last moment. The next morning I wrote him an angry text. I've never felt so violated.

Most often, though, I didn't have sex at all. She laid on her back, placing one of the small round pillows under her head. I looked at her laying there and had to take a moment to enjoy her beauty.

I told her that she was gorgeous and she giggled and said thank you. I got over her and rested back on my knees so that I could watch myself go in. I got my head started and then got more on top of her properly. She laid there taking me with her head turned. I started slowly going deeper while I kissed her face, neck and nibbled her ears. I ran my hands all over her back, sides and neck. I kept trying to touch her passionately and, to my surprise, she began to liven up and started caressing me.

I continued to move in her, trying to enjoy myself but also hoping that she might enjoy me as well. I was touching her more firmly now, occasionally running my hands behind her head, pulling it up for her to look as I kissed her face and neck. Her legs began to cinch tighter around me and she pulled me hard towards her with her arms.

She was gripping me with her entire body, passionately. It was already the best sex I had ever had with an escort and some of the best missionary I had ever had period.

Just then I felt her. She had exploded in orgasm. She giggled and I could tell that she was both surprised and excited. I asked her to look at me and she quickly turned to face me, with what seemed like a surprise to actually be wanting to look at the man that was fucking her.

It had instantly turned into an enjoyable experience. I really liked this girl. I wanted to make her cum again. I asked if she could. She told me I needed to cum now. She said because I want you to. Normally escorts are in kind of a hurry to get you done and get gone. I had pushed myself up a little so that I could look at her while I pushed and pulled inside her, enjoying her beauty and her smell she had gotten very wet and smelled wonderful.

It was really sweet. I told her that I wished that she could stay all night. She told me she would like to but that she had to see a regular that night some old guy that gave her a lot of money just to spend time with him.

She asked if she could come back after that. I told her I had no more money. I pulled out, gave her a kiss and went with her to the bathroom while she washed herself. The scent was intoxicating. How did you feel about it the next day? How do you feel about them now? I hope to see her again. What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? What were your motives for this hookup?

Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner s , To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Boredom. How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Getting to teach her a little bit about good sex. Not being able to see her again yet. Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? What would you like to see changed in that regard?

You have a hookup story to share? Tags 1on1 20s 30s 40s alcohol anal birth control bisexual blowjob cheating college condoms consensual cunnilingus Europe female fingering fling FM fuck-buddies FWB hetero intercourse intoxicated male mostly hetero no condoms no intercourse no orgasm North America not religious not secret one-night stand oral orgasm positive post-grad secret semi-secret single sober somewhat religious USA vaginal white. Paid sex How long did you know the person before this hookup?

I asked her if it would be alright if I waited to cum until then. I left the door unlocked and off the latch for her to return later. The return was sweet but, by that time we were very tired so, we just cuddled and slept. How sexually satisfying was this hookup?

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We've created an environment where members are comfortable expressing their desires and encouraged to ask for what they want. As this was going on, she had only managed to slide about half way down my cock. I asked her if she could go all the way down but could tell she was struggling. I told her that would be fine with the hope of getting her back on top later.

She laid on her back, placing one of the small round pillows under her head. I looked at her laying there and had to take a moment to enjoy her beauty. I told her that she was gorgeous and she giggled and said thank you. I got over her and rested back on my knees so that I could watch myself go in.

I got my head started and then got more on top of her properly. She laid there taking me with her head turned. I started slowly going deeper while I kissed her face, neck and nibbled her ears. I ran my hands all over her back, sides and neck. I kept trying to touch her passionately and, to my surprise, she began to liven up and started caressing me. I continued to move in her, trying to enjoy myself but also hoping that she might enjoy me as well.

I was touching her more firmly now, occasionally running my hands behind her head, pulling it up for her to look as I kissed her face and neck. Her legs began to cinch tighter around me and she pulled me hard towards her with her arms.

She was gripping me with her entire body, passionately. It was already the best sex I had ever had with an escort and some of the best missionary I had ever had period. Just then I felt her. She had exploded in orgasm. She giggled and I could tell that she was both surprised and excited. I asked her to look at me and she quickly turned to face me, with what seemed like a surprise to actually be wanting to look at the man that was fucking her.

It had instantly turned into an enjoyable experience. I really liked this girl. I wanted to make her cum again. I asked if she could. She told me I needed to cum now. She said because I want you to. Normally escorts are in kind of a hurry to get you done and get gone. I had pushed myself up a little so that I could look at her while I pushed and pulled inside her, enjoying her beauty and her smell she had gotten very wet and smelled wonderful. It was really sweet. I told her that I wished that she could stay all night.

She told me she would like to but that she had to see a regular that night some old guy that gave her a lot of money just to spend time with him. She asked if she could come back after that. I told her I had no more money. I pulled out, gave her a kiss and went with her to the bathroom while she washed herself.

The scent was intoxicating. How did you feel about it the next day? How do you feel about them now? I hope to see her again. What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner s , To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Boredom. How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Getting to teach her a little bit about good sex.

Not being able to see her again yet. Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? What would you like to see changed in that regard?

You have a hookup story to share? Tags 1on1 20s 30s 40s alcohol anal birth control bisexual blowjob cheating college condoms consensual cunnilingus Europe female fingering fling FM fuck-buddies FWB hetero intercourse intoxicated male mostly hetero no condoms no intercourse no orgasm North America not religious not secret one-night stand oral orgasm positive post-grad secret semi-secret single sober somewhat religious USA vaginal white.

Paid sex How long did you know the person before this hookup? I asked her if it would be alright if I waited to cum until then.

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At the top is something like Guardian Soulmates or Match — the ones you pay for. You put in your pictures and add some information if you can be bothered. I started with one line "Single Canadian girl in London".

It's superficial, based purely on physical attraction, but that's what I was looking for. You go through what's there, if you see someone you like, you swipe right. If he swipes you too, it lights up like a game, then asks if you want to keep playing. My first Tinder date was with someone I'd seen before on OKCupid — the same faces crop up on all these sites. He knew all the cool restaurants, the best places and, as he was only in London occasionally, things moved faster than they should have.

After just a few dates, he booked us a night in a fancy Kensington hotel. I met him at a pub first — liquid courage — and knew the second I saw him that my heart wasn't in it. The connection wasn't there for me.

Not a great start. But Tinder is addictive. You find yourself browsing and swiping and playing on. The possibilities pile up. I'm ashamed to say it but I sometimes went on three or four dates a week. It could be to a bar around the corner, or somewhere fabulous — Berner's Tavern, the Chiltern Firehouse. Most of the guys I met were looking for sex, rarely were they after a relationship. With Tinder, I discovered what it could be to have sex then walk away without a backward glance.

Sex didn't have to be wrapped up with commitment, and "will he? It could just be fun. Sometimes I had nothing in common with the guy but there was a sexual spark. In "real life", he was the ultimate knob. He didn't fit with my politics, my views, I'd never have introduced him to my friends. In bed, though, he was passionate, eager, energetic. For a while, we'd hook up every six weeks. But there were a lot of negatives. It could feel … seedy.

Where do you go for sex? I didn't feel comfortable taking someone back to my place, as he'd then know where I lived, and I live alone. If we went back to his, I'd have no idea what to expect. With "Aldgate East", we had to walk through a pub to get to the bedroom and I swear there was a train going through the lounge. You're trusting people you barely know. After a few dates with "Manchester", I agreed to visit his hotel room next time he was in London. I'd always been diligent about practising safe sex, but he had trouble getting in the mood with the condoms and went against my wishes at the last moment.

The next morning I wrote him an angry text. I've never felt so violated. Most often, though, I didn't have sex at all. I generally left home open to the possibility but found, when my date showed up, that I didn't want to see him again, let alone see him naked. There was no spark, or he was dull or gross or just too pushy. One date chased me to the tube trying to shove his tongue down my throat. Another — who started promisingly — changed after his second drink, spilling a glass of wine on me without apologising, and cutting me off each time I spoke.

It can be harder to walk away when you've met through Tinder. When you're matched, you can spend days — in some cases, weeks, months — exchanging messages, texting and working yourselves up, filling in the gaps with your imagination. By the time you meet, you've both invested so much, you've raised your hopes and his.

In some ways Tinder can even work against you finding a partner. I met one guy who was a likely contender for a boyfriend. We went on five dates without sex, just a kiss and a hug. Then one night, he arrived at my place stinking of booze and likely high on something. I started slowly going deeper while I kissed her face, neck and nibbled her ears.

I ran my hands all over her back, sides and neck. I kept trying to touch her passionately and, to my surprise, she began to liven up and started caressing me.

I continued to move in her, trying to enjoy myself but also hoping that she might enjoy me as well. I was touching her more firmly now, occasionally running my hands behind her head, pulling it up for her to look as I kissed her face and neck. Her legs began to cinch tighter around me and she pulled me hard towards her with her arms. She was gripping me with her entire body, passionately.

It was already the best sex I had ever had with an escort and some of the best missionary I had ever had period. Just then I felt her. She had exploded in orgasm. She giggled and I could tell that she was both surprised and excited. I asked her to look at me and she quickly turned to face me, with what seemed like a surprise to actually be wanting to look at the man that was fucking her. It had instantly turned into an enjoyable experience.

I really liked this girl. I wanted to make her cum again. I asked if she could. She told me I needed to cum now. She said because I want you to. Normally escorts are in kind of a hurry to get you done and get gone. I had pushed myself up a little so that I could look at her while I pushed and pulled inside her, enjoying her beauty and her smell she had gotten very wet and smelled wonderful.

It was really sweet. I told her that I wished that she could stay all night. She told me she would like to but that she had to see a regular that night some old guy that gave her a lot of money just to spend time with him. She asked if she could come back after that. I told her I had no more money. I pulled out, gave her a kiss and went with her to the bathroom while she washed herself. The scent was intoxicating.

How did you feel about it the next day? How do you feel about them now? I hope to see her again. What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner s , To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Boredom. How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? What was the BEST thing about this hookup?

Getting to teach her a little bit about good sex. Not being able to see her again yet. Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? What would you like to see changed in that regard? You have a hookup story to share? Tags 1on1 20s 30s 40s alcohol anal birth control bisexual blowjob cheating college condoms consensual cunnilingus Europe female fingering fling FM fuck-buddies FWB hetero intercourse intoxicated male mostly hetero no condoms no intercourse no orgasm North America not religious not secret one-night stand oral orgasm positive post-grad secret semi-secret single sober somewhat religious USA vaginal white.

Paid sex How long did you know the person before this hookup? I asked her if it would be alright if I waited to cum until then. I left the door unlocked and off the latch for her to return later. The return was sweet but, by that time we were very tired so, we just cuddled and slept.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close Did your partner have an orgasm? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner s , To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Boredom How intoxicated were you? Not at all no alcohol or drugs How intoxicated was your partner?

Not at all no alcohol or drugs How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very Did you consent to this hookup at the time?